when you’re taking a shit at your spanish friend’s 3rd birthday party and you have to check your email
My dad just yelled “I SWEAR I’LL CUT OFF WHAT’S LEFT OF YOUR DICK IF YOU FUCKING TOUCH MY COKE DON’T YOU DARE” and I came in the room like what the fuck and it was my dad holding up a shoe and my cat sitting by a glass of coca-cola with his paw almost touching inside of it and both of them didn’t even break eye contact with each other
I’m so done with my life
Actually my father is Palestinian.
*gets period* *dentist pokes head through the window* ‘you’re bleeding because you dont floss enough’
smack that ass from 8 feet away
more like smack myself in the eye and cry for a few hours
More like smack a lamp and break it and get yelled at
More like smack the wall and leave a gooey print on the paint and get yelled at.
More like drop it on the carpet and pick off hair and fluff from it for the next few hours
More like get it stuck on the fucking ceiling
I hear my mom shrieking downstairs, shouting up to me about “THE CATS! THE CATS!”
I run downstairs, thinking someone has died or something and see THIS:
I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO PUNCH SOMETHING TO GET OVER THE ADORABLENESS